one sunday morning

I just watched coneheads lol so cute.It was the first time i seen it in close captioned....neat way to wake up.Well,its almost time to wake Brianna for jijitsu.I am so glad I finished everything on my list....(beloe is a list i made up)...minis 1 thing.Paint.Bill said after new years we'll complete it,but not juist paint the kitchen,he is doing the whole 1st floor.I sooo wish it was done before christmas!!
Christmas was awesome!!On christmas eve we headed up north to my sil's house in Rutherford.3he westher there was awful compared to the shore lol.
There was snow...freezing ice etc!!However we got there n back home @ 130am.
~ spent 2 hours wrapping afterwards and letting Billy sleep after the drive he made taking us home ehile i was tuckered out!,
~I g2g....write later

my post w blackjacj

i am trying this for the forst tiome.dang is i do n dont.~ love using this phone,when I am sitting around waiting as a t7i mom,a cjeer mom,jijitsu mom...endless things moms do...i can do a number of things that i could only do at home;)
I am figuring this out wayyyy too fast lol.Next phome not sure because I allready downloaded close to 200 songs & am waitoing on my headphones;) heck...who needs an ipod......much easier this way lol
welllll hiping this gets published.
kids had the best xmas.I wioll update on pc.
later

SLEEPING BEAUTIES!

This is Ashley and Lauren..cuddled together on the couch.the pic was taken with Ashleys 2mp cell phone camera,so its sooo NOT going to be the best pic ever lol.
I love anything that has my girls...period:)

The second pic Is lauren sleeping!I love sweet sleeping pics!Love them.BUMMER Brianna is not in any lately sleeping pictures:0)

blackjackii owners?& My to do list,done lists..

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things BOUGHT

i AM not putting ashleys things in,because she READS haha...So does Stephanie,sooo I'll just keep it simple.The small kids,the fun part,cause its cheaper,and easier:)
I am keeping it simple.Since Brianna is getting the BIG dollhouse,I decided to get a SMALL version for Lauren.Brianna is also getting the charger for her BRAND NEW(NEVER USED,just tried 2xs) Nintendo DS(regular,not lite)...WE have the VAN charger,but we needed a house one.I FOUND it on amazon.com.Amazon.com has EVERYTHING,and sometimes you find a STEAL!The dollhouse is 39% off today.The Camera (V TECH)is now 20$...just things I say...GO FOR IT:)
My mom grabbed one from AVON but i'll arrive in JANARY,Makes me wonder,should I even bother???
WELL..here is my start up..(some of it).I have the clippos table,and extra clippos.(for Lauren).
Brianna got her FIRST pair of Ugg boots she wanted,NOT To be worn yet.ASh will be getting them too.Shhh about Ashley LOL but she wants a FUJI Digi,HDTV for her room,and UGG boots.CLOTHES.Hmmm SIMPLE..I think so.I suggested the IPOD TOUCH..she said,nah..I got my ipod.Okie dokie..(even though I wanted it.)
ALL I want ALL ALL I Want is the kimble!First is the digi.(i'm paying for that tonite)...the kimble is next..3rd is the dollhouse.(paid for).She has little peoples dollhouse..did I jump the gun?I'm saving reciepts..I'm heading out to TARGET..Online I buy without really LOOKINg as much IMO.
I went to etoys.didn't find any deals I was hoping for....ToysRUs is pretty neat!
KUDOS.
OHHH I also got the CRAYOLA EXPLOSION!These things are being bought SOOO SUPER FAST here in NJ,they are hard to find!If your cild likes art..this is the item.SO neat..and she can play it in her room.NOTHING goes to play upstars ROFL!

New TV and REFRIGERATOR!

I am SO happy,time to be jolly lol.I got a large screen(60 inches) for my parlor,stand alone plasma tv.I love it,and nopers it was a freebie,given by my daughter when she moved all her furniture up to NEW JERSEY from florida.The fridge was in my moms basement,I cleaned it SPOTLESS and its BRIGHT WHITE:) i love it,i disliked the "off white with black'..It wasn't my style
SOOO things to do today.
...put up fridge,empty other one.I allready made it spotless,dh is putting the fridge back together again lol
.....rearrange parlor.remove entertain ment center,to the game room(OOH we got a Beautiful,HUGE green ottoman,Love it)..Lauren is giving it quite the eye full ROFL.
Thats in the game room right now too:) Talk about PSYCHED..all free stuff,that ROCKS.
Family is awesome:) somtimes they can make you crazy but they make your DAY.I love my family.
I am missing my oldest daughter=( Stephanie SO much.
Lauren is in my lap..just being SWEET As always.I am compiling a christmas gift for the girls.Ashley had a sleepover of 4 friends last night,and now we're picking up a PULL OUT couch,(umm lots of furniture now here in the back room) lol..he thinks it'll rock for future sleepovers,and people who will spend the night here all summer.:)
SO yay..thats pretty neat.Everything is underway,and gettign ready to decorate with the tree.ONLY stoppage is my painting the parlor,which I can let it go..for new years.Get rid of the tree,and everything,and paint starting anew.There is alot of work right now.we also got a BEAUTIFUL chandelier to put over our dinete set...just things that make a difference.
Brianna right now is Playing with Olivia(across the street).
Ashley,after my long night last night with her and her four friends.I had to drive them 10 miles away (not long),to a christian rock concert,than drive them to blockbusters,than back home.Oh whilest i was waiting,i left my lights and radio on,van off(keys),so my gas doesn't dwindle..WELL my battery died.OYE VEY,imagine that lol
OH the joy,i was a wreck,THAN i see a lovely lady offering to give me a jump.PRASE GOD for that;) it wasn't a miracle!!Random people around here do NOT Stop to help people.
However,I would give somebody a nice jump,if i knew how;) SO tidings,I will make billy do it next time i see it:)
MERRY CHRISTMAS SEEASON TO ALLLLL
I have to clean,than eventually get Ashley who is at Courtneys and Brianna who is with Olivia:)
XOXOO

teachers Conferences!

I have to get up and get out.I was playing with blogger most of the day.(so much for shopping online lol).I added things I liked,and found some of the blogs I try to read.I know there are many I am missing,i'll find them over time.
I am going to see Briannas teacher.I look foward to it:) The school is five mins away and I'm going to hear ALL about Miss Brianna lol!
Ashley,however,I did NOT get a time for her,or a conference request:( that is good news though,however,I DO want to speak to ALL her teachers.She pulled high 80's and 90's in her report card(no a,b,c's etc).So she is doing very well.I suppose thats why no conferences.They state,unless they need to talk to you,we do not need to go.I called,and stated I DO want to go.They will fit me in tomorrow.Unbelievable!Why do kids who do good,cannot get parents to go,and ensure they still KEEP on doing well.Makes NO sense to me!lol
I am thinking,i really need to order more books.I am reading the morganville vampire books.They are pretty good.I am unsure how many more there are,but I read 3 books allready.I am also reading PC Cast(marked,betrayed,chosen) books.They are easy reading,young adult.For these reasons,I really want an amazon kindle.I know it would be so worth it for me.:)
I am SOO unsure what to get Ashley.I TOUCH phone??What?Its so confusing!She is HARD,go figure!
I know Steph wants a digital camera!Lauren is easy,so is Brianna!Little ones are always easiest!LOL
Well,OFF I go.I have to get dressed and be at the school in 20 minutes!Yes,I'll make it lol!
YES..I LOVE BEN AND JERRYS..CHUNKY MONKEY ICE CREAM..YUMMMMMMMY!

Poverty & Christmas:( Makes me think...

Its just unfair.So many people do without.I was browsing to shop,and it hit me,I am not rich,not by any means.I am blessed.My children get to have a nice christmas,without breaking the bank.However,there are people out there who do not even have a home.:( Homelessness.How do THEY get to have a christmas.How many of us watch tv,and ::Sigh::: actually BELIEVE that life is like that?Just like it portrays on tv?The gifts,the beauty that they make you see,and therefor you try to do exactly THAT.Its just beyond many peoples expectation,or what they CAN do.Should we feel guilty about it??NO NO NO!
I stumbled across this website.It has a summary of what it does.This is a christian website,that helps give poverty stricken people a christmas.I do realize,christmas,means PRESENTS to children.I find it a shame.We can give all year long,why give on such a SPECIAL day,why make it SLIGHTLY about gifts?Children,sooo many of them,mine included are allready loaded with toys and clothes,and electronics.What MORE are we supposed to "buy"??I believe it should be about LOVE,FAMILY and FAITH in our Lord Jesus Christ.
So many children,however,skip a bunch of that.Parents are so busy wrapping,and talking to other adults(family) and children are just given gifts and movies,and they just go in their "WEE" world.I know I do not recall anything I got for christmas,other than my puppy(as a child this is) and a baby alive doll.I was "spoiled" on top of it all,so imagine,not even remembering?ALL the time my parents spent wrapping n putting under the tree.I know my brother doesn't remember much of it either.I DO remember all the pizza they bought us afterschool though..and the dinners we had around the table.The trips to Spain,the times at the ocean,our disney vacation,Our vacation to Virginia,etc.Things we did TOGETHER.Ok,back to the point..this website seems neat.It helps people.I like that.
I am allready gathering shoe boxes,and we're filling them up with items.Small items,I cannot afford much.We grabbed items from walmart,dollar tree,and put them in the box.(Right now its stashed in my garage corner lol,where we hide our gifts).Than we donate it to the church,who in turn donates it to people in need.Just one box,I have novels I read and will not read again.Etc.
Here is the website!
I am going to put it in my links section.At least for the holidays!!!

http://www.worldvision.org/content.nsf/pages/unique-gift-catalogs-for-gift-giving?Open&campaign=1015253&cmp=KNC-1015253&source=goog&keyword?=poverty%20christmas


World Vision is a Christian humanitarian organization dedicated to working with children, families and their communities worldwide to reach their full potential by tackling the causes of poverty and injustice. Motivated by our faith in Jesus, we serve the poor — regardless of a person's religion, race, ethnicity, or gender — as a demonstration of God's unconditional love for all people.

WELL..MERRY CHRISTMAS...HAPPY HOLIDAYS & Remember those in need.I know,many of US,are in Need of many things as well.:( Its definately hard times today.

Thanksgiving!We're SO thankfull

We went wayyyy up north to Bergen County,a town called Saddle Brooke,NJ.Its the home to the huge willowbrooke mall.I miss that mall!!That was my mall growing up lol!So much traffic,vs what we deal with now in Ocean County.
The girls,were happy.They love going up north,which is amazing knowing how long we sat this year.There was SO much traffic on the parkway.Yuck!Anyways,we made it,with plenty of time before dinner.Kids were playing,and eventually they had 8 cousins there with them.
I am thankfull for our family!!I'm thankfull for Christ,our Savior,the food we get to eat,and got to eat on Thanksgiving and everyday,Our home,Sunshine,Winter,Love in our lives,Our health,everything under the sky.I realize how blessed I am.

Thanksgiving!:) Kids playing video!

briannas dollhouse present..bought all the pieces!

ALL we need,and its HARD to find,(i'm on a hunt) is the nursery set!I love it,she asked for it,and it can easily be handed down to Lauren!How neat is that!She asked for a dollhouse,not a huge one that is bigger than her,and she loves to play with little people,STILL,at her age.She gets Prefolds,and makes carpets out of them lmbo...and her imagination does all sorts of cute things.She gets blocks,and makes beds,etc..(even if there are beds),etc.She is so cute!Lauren always plays by her side.I am debating on getting her a smaller dollhouse(my first dollhouse),but for what??I am still on the debate on what to get lauren,AND Even Brianna,because the Dollhouse,my mom bought her lol!She also got an adorable Stroller,and Mommy doll,etc.CUTE!
Thanks mom!:) girls will love it!Ashley and Stephanie want pink digi cams lmao..for what I have NO idea.Their cell phones take great pictures!
I'll be creative:)
Christmas is SO much fun!

TGIF again...

WOW,a whole week flew by again!Its been that long since I posted here.I find myself having less and less time to sit on the computer.I have the days I can sit here whenever I want,and days I am not home at all.Yesterday was one of those days.I took myparents to toms river for a procedure,and they needed a "driver" due to the sedation medication they were given.
We're sitting around,discussing Thanksgiving & Christmas.Discussing house work,and things we want to get accomplished.Two of which consist of household items we need,a fridge and a TV.Everything is a pita when it comes down to it.We're thinking of having Joe (his brother) come down to help paint.
Today,I cleaned the WHOLE house.
Lauren totally destroyed so many things,one by one by one!She got into(first thing),she took her fitted side snapping dipe OFF.Go figure,she figured out how to do that.she is into removign her clothes as of late.I am on the "lets go potty" mode.So she had an accident on the floor.She removes her diaper,but doesn't run to the potty the whole time,she just goes on the FLOOR.Umm Unacceptable.At least she hates going in a diaper.I know its because its not a pamper,where she won't feel the wetness..so potty training is underway.!
She than proceeded to get cream,and smear it all over Ashleys bed(frame),dresser and LAPTOP to boot.I managed to clean the laptop spotless,and it works fine(thankfully)...however THANKS to my mom,she has an extended warranty on the Laptop(dell).I love love dell for that reason.ANYTHING can happen,and whoop,they send a box,you send it back and they fix it for you.FREE of charge.Next laptop will most likely be a dell again.The Acer,doesn't have that convinient factor.Its a convinience I want/and need.BIG TIME!
Oh,I decided,well have totally decided allready what i want for christmas.A kindle,an Amazon Kindle.Silly huh?I love the whole concept,and I read so much that it'll definately be used up.I do not enjoy having a collection of books I READ all over the house on shelves..I give so many away.I gave my mom some,and others to Lori.
Right now I'm reading the "chosen" series.Pretty good:) OH twilight is playing,and tonight I'd like to Take Ashley with me to see it.
I have to have a serious talk w Billy as well,so many thigns on my mind.I need to just say it,get it out.
WELL,I am happy about Thanksgiving!I cannot wait!:):)
If I do not post..HAPPY THANKSGIVING!It is exactly 6 days away!!!!

Its FRIDAY!

Today,Ashley is leaving to go to Philly for a retreat.She'll be back Tomorrow Night.Its just an overnight thing,and a concert/revival thing tomorrow.Its targeted towards teens/and tweens.She'll have a good time.:)
Billy is heading to go Fishing,he is aiming to catch some stripers(SP)??LOL he loves fishing!I told him he should go to the ELKS and join that fishing club.We'll see..it'll be good for him though!
ME,Not sure what I'm doing.I feel good from sleeping in my new mattress:) WE FINALLY bought a mattress.It was a bit pricey,but worth it since we live a huge part of our lives in our bed.I wanted the temper pedic,soooo we grabbed one.Billy was hoping i'd let go of the foam mattress and just go for the regular ol mattresses,but every mattress I tried out,didn't feel comfy.I actually ABLE to lie on my stomach,which is impossible with my old mattress.I'd wake up feeling totally STUck,Paralyzed sorta..Horible feeling:*(
So I got that accomplished.
next is painting the parlor,grabbing the TV for our parlor or game room.AND prepare for the holidays!
OH I finally got to get my GM diapers this week.I put it in my wicker basket,in the play room.(bad idea??Nahhhh)..Brianna had some friends over to play,and I get back from taking Ashley from point A to point B 100xs a day.Ack.She needed to get to the dentist to ck out her braces.(Everything is going well).Afterwards,we went to her cheeleading party.Oh FUN!I wish I took pictures!
LOL I will take pics today,and upload more.
Have a great weekend!

missing my beauty/rottie Beauty

I look at this puppy and remember when we had Beauty.I want another doggie,but we have to wait,and wait and wait.It has to be when we can give a dog the life it deserves.My time is so consumed,and unless I get another dog for that dog company lol,i'm not going to be able to get a doggie yet.
I loved Beauty and miss her SO much.I remember holding her,she was so beautiful..and Ashley named her Beauty from her favorite movie at the time...Beauty & the Beast:)
KUDOS!

OBAMA MADE IT/and Yesterdays blabs..

BARACK OBAMA IS PRESIDENT!I am happy to see that a diverse country,we all came together and embraced.That bought tears to my eyes.Blacks,and whites,Asian & Hispanics,all hugging and jumping up and down.No matter what,there is so much beauty in that.I pray that people who were not for Obama,realize that things will be ok.If not,we look to GOD for our answers.He always has them.This was Gods will,nevertheless.
I am HOPING for ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS to STOP COMING IN THIS COUNTRY and getting welfare,food stamps,etc..ALL on our taxes.We have enough on our plate here.If you want to come in,fine,get in legally.Get a job.etc..whats the point of coming in if they are either stealing jobs from the American People,getting health insurance that AMERICAN PEOPLE do not get.Ughh dont' get me started.SO I pray that the border patrol gets tightened A HUGE ammount.I am aware Bush passed a lovely law,about letting them IN and OUT.Just LOVELY!Bush messed up SO much,that nobody wanted to risk Mccain.its sad,but the truth In my opinon.

We sat up late,watching.I was stunned when I saw that obama was leading by such a margin!I really was,I never thought he'd win,yet he did.

Anyways,yesterday we went to jitjitsu,Brianna did AWESOME ROFL.She picked up Bella,and SLAMED her to the ground.((OOPS)..but its a perfectly legal move.Coach said "great job Brianna".=) Bella is also one of the top girls.Its pretty cute cause Brianna and Bella are also in the same class at school.
Afterwards,we decided to take Brianna to Kohls.Ashley went to youth group(which she LOVED,I wish I had her home babysit Lauren)..because LAUREN drove me nutty at KOHLS.We bought Brianna clothes she needed,she outgrew SO MUCH and doesnt wear her gymboree clothes I buy her.I'll save them for Lauren,or sell them.I haven't a clue what to do with them.Hopefully she will wear them.LOL
I am going to gymboree.com and use my cffriend code,and get 30% off.I am picking out a tulle skirt,and some cute items for Lauren for the upcoming holidays.Brianna still needs a dress.I got me a nice pair of skinny jeans,and a brown "chaps" sweater.I'm leaving to wawa,and I want to dye my hair today:)

CUTE!ALL hall oween !

Thefirst one,was earlier..prior to getting dressed:) It was a long long day indeed!MANY pics below.I have so many pictures,there is NO way I can get them ALL on blogger!So i'll stop now!:D

SOME MORE halloween Pictures!

BRIANNA was a witch.However,she didn't want much to do with a COSTUME lol..how uncanny is she?FOR REAL!So she obliged,had to have her CLOTHES underneath(don't we all.even Packed an outfit for school,to change into just in "case".)
No funky make up,no jewelry,no broom,no nothing!OKIE DOKIE..save me a bundle.She did however have a fun "light" that she carried around during the evening(darkness).
She had a blast!
Lauren was sooo funny.Running around,skipping about just happily looking in her bag every five minutes thinking"I have YUMMIES".She said TICK O EET one time,the rest of the time she says "goodbye everybody" or "oodbyee eberybody".LOL.So cute!She was such a cute lady bug.:) The outfit was adorable,however next morning,and during diaper changes,I noticed she had black stuff stuck to her.SO needless to say,after jijitsu,she ran right to the tub.She passed out on Friday night(halloween) before I had a chance.Add to it,Ashleys sleepover.She had two friends sleep over.Ashley had her outfit on for school,took it off,and than put it back on.she is the epic of a preteen..((OOPS)) she'll be 13 this JANUARY!This calls for a FUN party!:)

HALLOWEEN!

I'm cooking ....so just UPloading pics now:D :D :D !Halloween went Uneventfull lol,FUN!
We ALL went trick or treating!LOL!BRI had a HALLOWEEN party(no pics:( and we did a haunted hayride)..so allas..life as always=)

LORI visited,death,life too fast,pain...etc.

Halloween was wonderful,well,haha for Halloween!Ashley was a kitty,i call it a barbie type kitty (IMO anyways).She was so cute.I had to be waken up to do her "whiskers" lol.So at 6am i am up..allready.I get to bed late.Lauren has this sudden thing this past week,to come into our room and SCREAM for an hour.Anybody have any CLUE why??I sit there,hold her,sing to her,but NO,she screams!Doctor says she is fine.I wonder if she has night terrors or something??Ashley had them at one time.
Anyhow,today,(monday),my friend Lori just left.Dang,I should've took a picture:(.It was awesome,spending a few hours with a lifelong friend.We don't see each other often,and she is such a stunning person.Not only appeances,but in her heart.She is ALL heart,and I am lucky to have her as a friend.She says the same about me.We've been friends for 12 years now.That time flew by so fast,it literally makes me cry.I can remember,everything!The nights at "MY FRIENDS"..Nights in Toms River...days just walking through the boardwalks(local),etc.We discussed Georgies death,and DAwns death...how on earth do people die when they are SO young??its a travesty:( its happening too much.Georgie died from a seizure,and he was sleeping on his stomach.....she believes the seizure,than not being able to come up for air caused his death.She was up north,and I'm sure the news just STUNNED her to pieces!:( :( I cannot imagine what I would feel if something happened to Billy.I would be utterly LOST.I know,now,not to take ANYBODY for Granted.If there is a day,or a way,to reach out to somebody.DO it.We never know,if we'll get that chance tomorrow,or next week.
BOTTOM LINE..its not worth the bullshit to hate.I despise hate.I despise LIES,thats one thing I am proud to say I DO NOT DO.I DO NOT LIE!Liars,I know one too many and I stay far away from liars.I just wish people would realize when they are being LIED to,(people who lie that i know,to people that I know..lol if this makes sense>:)

Anyways,I was supposed to go to my moms.Since Lori arrived,that plan is done.I want to go with Billy tonight,get a fridge,and a mattress.TWO THINGS i REALLY NEED.We have some money saved,and a small ammount from my grandfather.I won't spend it ALL of course,yet,I really need the mattress more than anything.
THE PAIN omg the pain in my back,every single night is scaring the heck out of me.
WHAT can it be??I wake up,and wonder,how long will I live??Sounds wierd doesn't it??
I pray I live a lONG life,however,that pain right by my left lung area is wayyy painfull.When I breathe it hurts.I got X rays etc..and the doctors said my Lung is FINE??I got an MRI of my back and it said it was FINE.So where is the pain coming from?Its coming from somewhere....I will know more when I see my doctor.He has to run tests..I do not know whats next?I had the MRI,X RAYS,You name it..its done.I can NOT live with this pain,and I know there is something WRONG.Its undiagnosed.IF you read this,please pray that they diagnose it.
In the meantime,I am striving never to ever light a cigarette again.I can do it.I know I can.
Love you all..
"ME":)

vote obama

I was for him,than confused because of the christian peoples accusations,(MANY PEOPLE)...and than i decided,after praying,that I feel HOPE with this president.He will change this country for the better,and a LONG uphill climb!
I THINK he IS goign to make it!

Did ONE of my goals..scratch one!

I got competition for Ashley DONE...Now we go to the one in toms river.Ashleys team the lions did not place at all this time.Oh well:) She is busy now with try outs,and competition again this weekend.i'm exhausted allready from all these competitions!!!

NOW I got MY CAR FIXED:) the cracked Glass.If I didnt write it as a priority list,IT IS oN IT lol!I am SO glad its done!It was 190,they come to your house,remove the old glass in one piece,than put in the new on.I gave them a 10$ tip,LOL cause you just cannot beat that price:)

I cannot drive it today,at least 3 hours.I have so much to do,but its all later on:)
I'm off to nap!

Competition today & my Goals for the month!

I am going to start writing my goals,and sharing them with Billy as well,so we'll call them "OUR" goals.This months goals,is to
1)Paint the parlor.it makes me nauseas..lol..literally.The pictures splattered at any which way is enough to make me dizzy.I want to paint the wall where the fireplace is a darker brown color(however not DARK brown),and the other walls a lighter shade.Heck,i'm happy enough with just redoing the whole room.I have an idea of what colors to use.:) It'll also match the kitchen lol.

2)order our granite counter top.Order new knobs for our kitchen counter.

3)Order a fridge

4)buy a mattress.

yes,the last 2 just consists of buying.However my mattress I have here now is pillowtop and king size.it is not going to be an easy feat tossing it out the window.I wish somebody would come TAKE it away.It was NOT a cheap mattress,yet we cannot deal with the pain.The mattress I want needs to be a mattress that will not hurt pressure points.I would like a free trial of the temper pedic,see if I like it first.I want 30 days of sleeping and see if i can go 30 days without pain.its awful sleeping in pain.I had that night before last.Sure enough it RAINED yesterday.There is something happening,and I haven't gotten a diagnoses and it drives me crazy.
OH yes...
my goal for the NEXT 30 days as well,is
5)GET A DIAGNOSES

6)GET BRIANNA to the EYE doctor!

7)Call Early intervention for Lauren,just in case.

8)ENJOY HALLOWEEN:)

9)Keep the house clean,even when I feel like tossing it all,hanging my head and just let everybody suffer in the messes they make.However,I can't do it.I lift my head back up and start cleaning again.I am not OCD however,i am not in a good mood if my house is not how I want it to be.LOL..Clean.I cannot wait till this list is done:)

10)TRY NOT to buy stuff online.I am a sucker for cloth diapers,and yeah,I use them,however I DO use sposies too.SO its just an addiction.Time to cut my addiction out.There is no making your money back anymore(SIGH).I used to make back half my money always,so buying was not an issue.

11)try to avoid all the gymboree sites..ALL TOGETHER.Lauren has MORE than enough clothes.I have to realize that,when I sit and think of her wearing this and that..

12)TAKE Brianna shopping for clothes.I can NOT buy her clothes online becaues when she gets them at home,she doesn't like them:( It makes me So sad!
OH today is competition..AGAIN..for Ashley.This time its regionals.If they make this,than they go to State wide,than nationals which is Florida."IF" they get that far.They just may make it,soooo """add to list...save money for Florida""" lol
I plan on going in November(thats next months list) to Florida to visit Stephanie.Its just a weekend trip.:)

WELL I'll be having a BUSY 30 days.next month,a week before the end of the month,I'll do my next 30 day goals.The next few days I'll update on my goals.

Crazy kid

LOL!Ash Ash Ash!What are you doing???!

Back to the gym & another week running ragggged

I finally went back.I am sooooo glad I did.I wish I had more to say,but I've been incredibly busy that I dont' have much to post lately!Anyways,the gym was exactly what the doctor ordered.I get up,and Billy decided to wait it out till the weather warmed up some.I said Fine,i'm heading off to the gym.I drive out there (five minutes) and wonder why I waited so long to go back!!!Motivation is Key,so I discover,& will continue to discover!(dang i'm craving coffee right now lol)!
I did body vibe,which I always thought was for babies,well it was a pretty intense work out.Prior to that I did 50 crunches,and 1o minuetes(big whoopsie) on the epilipital(SP) machine.My goal is to lose 10lbs before christmas.I know I can handle that one.I always post goals I know I can handle.
I get home,and find out later on that my mother is stressed beyond comprehension.Poor woman.I do not understand why she is a victem of everybodies problems,they automatically become HERS.If me and billy can get a grip here on reality,I simply do not get how so many other people can NOT get it.Reality is this...do NOT buy what you cannot afford.Do NOT try to keep up with the jones's,and money does NOT make you happy or who you are!Try to find peace with God,and always follow your heart rather than greed,you will be a happier person in the end.Do not blame other people for what goes wrong,or what you do not like.I can not stand that my mother allows the above to be thrased at her repeatedly.Everybodies problems,become her own problems.She basically holds the world in her shoulders(which is HER world) and its unfair.Speakin of which,I should be calling her soon.
Today I have jijitsu again.Oh the JOY!LOL..I love seeing Brianna wrestle and do her thing.She is just so cute and good at it.She is one of 2 girls in her class.The class is 99% boys,was,until another girl joined,so its 98% boys.=) She loves it,and I am ambliviant to make SURE she thrives in what she likes to do.This goes with all my children.
Ashley more likely than NOT has cheer practice today as well.So after 3pm I'll be running all over until bedtime.

LAST pics..Just random.:)ALL ASHLEY again.LAST!

I am very proud of my Ashley.Of all my children.Ashley yet,shows independance,is friendly,is a natural around people.She is so preppy,happy,and always trying to be helpfull towards me when she can.I know she can go far,I pray that she doesn't get sucked into the world of drugs,violence and vanity.Right now she is in a world of FUN,SCHOOL,N a life I'd LOVE to do over!I would do it exactly the way she is.LOADS of friends,LOADS Of fun.Oh yes,she is popular.Of course..LOL.I'm SO sure Brianna will be too!She knows EVERYBODY.I walked her to school (ELEMENTARY LOL) and kids were yelling BRIANNA BRIANNA from the bus.WHY are my girls such social bugs?Stephanie wasn't as much so...and I think Lauren is more shy,and will be more of a book worm.TIME shall tell!Maybe she'll be a balerina/dancer like mommy!She does perfect 100% perfect front rolls and tries to do splits.She also does mini cartwheels lol!so funny for a 2 yr old.She LOVES to eat.Thats one thing,this kid can do is EAT!MOMMY loves chunky Monkey Ice cream.OOPS another thing to do today..RUN to SHOP RITE!LOL I wish they would deliver!

MORE Ashley Pictures!To share!

Ashley Rose N Friends.Cheer and Life!

Last but not least..not enough pics of my TWEEN baby girl!She should be out of school by NOW and waltzing in the door with babbles of her whole day!Its so cute.12 yr old girl,full of energy!She does NOT stop!OH I would LOVE to be 12 again!I know her friends birthday is coming up!Her competition is over,(first part),and i am NOT allowed to post the video of them competing till the end of the whole thing,or her team can be disqualified.I did not know that,but she asked me NOT to post it on you tube,so I will not.:) I still have to upload it anyway lol!
This is what I call..the life of Ashley Rose.She loves to play dress up(at 12 lol),read around the house,clean n rearrange her room and clothes.She donates clothes like candy,I go through it and keep what i want to keep for Brianna.I may have to run up to the attic and see what I can find that Brianna will be able to use.See..Brianna was born,when Ashley was SIX.SO mostly likely I saved size SIX from Ashley FOR Brianna.If it wasn't so stinking HOT i'd go UP to the attic!SUCH a pita!WHY the heat in October..(venting again of the same thing):D

One thurs October Afternoon

((SO CUTE ABOVE...for LAUREN & EVEN BRIANNA FOR PACKING UP STUFFFFFF))) I love it!
I am chilling out today..again.:) Its just staggering how HOT it is outside.Isn't it October??how Strange.I should've kept all summer clothes out.:) Lauren keeps streaking and taking her clothes off anyways.Thankgod for cute diapers.Lately she is showing loads of interest in the potty.She is talking more.I am calling Early Intervention as a precaution.Just like the eye doctor.I follow my instincts,if I am a paranoid mom.Thats fine.I can deal with that.She puts 2 words together at most.Not sentances nor does she sing like Ashley and Stephanie did.She is a little more ahead than Brianna was,so I should relax,but as we know moms never relax.LOL.She is so beautiful N so SWEET.She will cuddle and put her arm around me so tight.Same as those she loves and feels close to.She is not one to run to anybody and just jump on them.When she goes to you,its because she sense something about you that she likes.I am stumped how different each girl is.I figured,Ok,I have girls,this should be easy..another girl.WRONG.LOL each kid is so different that it would be like having a boy,because of personality differences.Nonetheless each is a joy.Laurens favorite things to do is...play with Littlest Petshops,Her dolls(feeding,changing and carrying around),barbies and furniture,she will lay out a blanket or a prefold and make that a cute little floor for her smaller toys.So cute.She likes barbie cars & loves to draw.I am stunned that she makes a circle,two eyes,nose and a funny smile.ShE IS TWO..she can draw?Thats a first!She may not speak sentances but her gross motor skills is amazing!I am sure IE will see that lol.MELTDOWNS,Oh,I try try try to be patient:).WHen I am,it works.I've just been SUPER busy this month with my grandfather(rest in peace).My mom went to the hospitol:( I was sooo worried about her.She is ok,but I feel she needs to relax.NO MORE RED MEAT.NO MORE JUNK FOOD.She needs to,as my grandmother needed to eat loads of chicken.Say bye bye chorizo mom.
I must say.This is a jump from what i've been saying but I miss Spain.:*( I'd love to go back.I'm hoping we can go back next summer.If not,I want to travel around the country.Maybe tonight,(I have to go to Jijitsu),afterwards I believe Ashley has cheer practice.They placed 3rd on competition,so I'm sure she has to go do more practices,plus there is more games going on.Our team didn't stop playing yet,they were undefeated till they played againts Asbury park,NJ.
Oh for halloween,I know Lauren is going to be a bumble bee!I have a few things I ordered allready for Lauren.She has a ride on toy,so thats not needed.I need some ideas for christmas gifts for Brianna & Lauren.I know what the big girls need.I need a new phone(SIGH).My phone fell into the toilet.I am using Ashleys OLD phone that was replaced via insurance & It has to be returned.When that happens,I am so freaking beat!
I miss you Stephanie..(YEAH,came home,and left..Next time just come visit without luggign all your furniture n your car on a trailer ok kiddo) haha!
Pics coming next....

oct 7th...to do list..and small update

MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD!!MY HUSBAND!!
What would I do without you??
I love you!!!

We went to the boardwalk,last time for the year.I miss it,maybe we can kick one more trip?ya think bill?LOL
I love how you read my blog from time to time.Anybody who wants to see billy you can at www.myspace.com/billbout
Anyways,I am EXHAUSTED today.I have to get a referral to take Lauren to the eye doctor.
I have to go to jijitsu.
Clean the house..
Stephanie is STILL not home since 10pm last night.:( It was her birthday (19)..said she was goign to atlantic city.Maybe i'm too old fashioned??But I think she should be home and working,or finishing her school.I am baffled as to what happened in florida...nobody told me nothing.This upsets me.One day she is in college,the next she is in a moving truck,with a trailer for her car.How strange.Something had to fall apart.IMO.
The college here is 20 min away so she would have to commute.So winter semester,she is gone.

Anyways,MY PHONE is broke,on top if it all.I have to get a new phone.At&T.I may try one of those go phones(since ihave a contract) and put my sim card in it.I hear it works.
I am so mad:( Ashleys NEW phone just came in lolol,how nice both my daughters just got new phones & I have none!
IT IS mY FAULT but still..
WELL..PICTURES to toss into this blog:)

I have Lauren right next to me.She just doesn't stop or let me read emails or nothing:)
She is waiting for BRI BRI..(sounds like BI BI or BABY) lol..so cute.I always call Brianna Bri Bri for 6 yrs now,and its catching over here.WERE BRI BRI..WERE BRI BRI(wheres brianna).STE..for STephanie.STE out?(steph is out?).
YES..steph is out lol
I love how she say ASH EEE ASSS EEE lolol
now she said baba,i get down..So she still remains next to me.Doesn't leave my side for nothing!Talk about Attached haha!
She loves to play,outside,my neighbor Denise has this cool yard thats set up with Bugs and frogs.They go there,and play and come home SO full of dirt.I love it,they just get to get down and PLAY:)
I am not excited about winter.I am goign to look into mommy & me things..or join MOPS again.
WELL laterz!

Sad Loss.:(

September ended very sadly.My grandfather passed away.I am not going to post much about him now,It was a very sad night.I cried so hard,and couldn't get to sleep.We were at the hospitol with him.He was talking to me,and I sooo did NOT expect it to happen a few hours later.I seen him around 9pm and he passed at 11:23..WOW:(
I was in my car drivign home when this happened.(Dang van had a flat tire)..so allas I left due to Ashley having to be at school early the next day.I come in here,and Wham...I knew he died.I just knew it..and a few minutes later I see Ashley crying with the phone in her hand.Than i knew for sure.I was stunned.I get upstairs,and than just well,was compounded with grief.Billy sure knows how to give tight hugs.THank you Billy,I'll never forget your gentleness that night.
You truley were there for me,at my worst hours in my life.

Well,we went up north,and I do not mourne well in front of people.It's just hard.I left,we spent the night at nana's house.Next day we came home after the funeral.After seeing my grandfather going next to my grandmothers,I just lost it.:( It was so sad,all those years,all those memories I have of them.They are close to my heart,and part of who I am today.I love you,Abuelito and Abuelita..FOREVER.
I know they are in peace...and together.Thank you Lord..

Our Lives....Together.

FINALLY its OVER!

I went in on Friday early morning,and its OVER.The surgery.It was not scarey at all,and billy was up at 3am,& I caught him just looking at me.I did indeed feel loved.I told him NOT to worry,no biggie.However,its now Sunday and I still feel crampy and just pregnant pains,like contractions almost.Very strange.I am glad its over.I know now,i'll never ever ever have another pregnancy to term ever again.I'm ok with it though;) My back is just still hurting so I cannot imagine it anyway.
I slept all day Friday and Saturday due to the anesthesia.Than On Saturday,as well,my van got a flat tire at the supermarket.ugh I had to go all tired to shoprite and get the food billy bought and have him drive me back home.:( it suxs.Now we have to wait till MONDAY to get my new tire.I am going all out and fixing everything that needs doing.I need to fix my window.I need to do an oil change.Just basic stuff.Winter is coming and I do not want drama.
I'm hoping the knee injury settlement comes soon.I want to go for another MRI and see whats going on with my back.The first mri came up as NOTHING.There has to be tests for me to take to find out WHAT is causing this pain?Ugh another pain post?I will try to avoid that one.It just takes the quality of life I have,the cleaning I want to do and diminishes it SO much.Now add the cramping and I'm just not doing well:( I hope the cramping stops.I see the ob/gyn within a week.I'm hoping all is WELL.It suxs having those pains in top of the prior pains.Maybe the gym will help,but can't do it till car is fixed,and pain stops(stomach at the least) due to surgery.
I can't help but wonder crazy things..like WHY the intense pain??Billy has all sorts of herniated discs yet his back doesn't hurt EVERY DAMN morning like mne does???what is UP with that.I feel like a BIG baby when I complian.i do not want to complian.
Yet,I love a clean house,I NEED organization,and I use those organization skills that I do have,to keep things cleaned as much as posible.
WELL Billy will be off soon for a little while.That should be helpfull in doing things around here that needs to get done.
Ok,enough babble.I need to find my battery,so I can take new pics and share:)
The girls are all doing good:)
Stephanie is back here:) It is sooooo GOOD to see her:)
Yesterday Ash had a game,and I feel HORRIBLE,this is the FIRST weekend and than some that Im keepin Lauren HOME BOUND:( UGH no fair,POOR lauren!:(

OUR 13th ANNIVERSARY

Its my 13th wedding anniversary!!Imagine that!lol...i'm chilled out with my dh and Lauren.I have to get Brianna who is playing with friends 2 houses away.
WELL I want to write,but i have to go:(
Ashley is at youth group,and I want Brianna home before dark.:)
Lauren is NOT talking much today other than nonstop MOMMY N MAMA & i'm going NUTS.
She has her days she talks so much,and other days she does not.
WELL Tomorrow is not so busy,than crazy thursday(jijitsu,than ccd for bri,run to cheeer for ash,than pick her up an hour later,take her to ccd(pick up bri) and blah blah blah.just lots of running around.
I have to undo the girls clothes.There are so much I have to do ugh no update now haha...Laters.
OH here comes Brianna lol...she came on her own(oh Denise sent her home):) THANKS DENISE:)I'm loving this neighborhood,Brianna finally gets to play around more so with kids her age...and is not "roaming alone"..the older kids and parents we all watch out for each other,and she aint alone:)

Last word..I am a FAN major FAN of STEPHANIE MEYERS twilight series..I can NOT wait to see the movie..12/12/ it will be out:) LOL I allready told Billy.

Sad words..my grandfather is not doing well..:(
BIG stuff..STEPHANIE is on her way home..woohoo I cannot wait to see her:):):)
She has a truck,(i thought it was just a visit,) moving her college papers,and whalla coming back to NJ.I knew that was coming rofl..she always comes back around her birthday time.NOW she will be NINETEEN years old.

MY gift today...consisted of a card,drama,and nonsense...LOL...but dh promised me a kindle:) SoOO I am ordering one NOW:) YAY HE SHOULD"VE GOT IT,but he is so weird that way.I do not need jewelry(I love it),but money is not what i want it to be ROFL so I'll have to make do.he does have great taste,we love stunning items,but they cost so much.WHO DOESNT have good taste I'd like to know LoL
laterz.

I LOVE lauren,I love my kids.

I love lauren:) Our LAUREN PAIGE!
JUST LOVE YOU GIRLY!
MY PRINCESS,
MY SWEETY
ALL ROLLED UP IN ONE!
I am SO gratefull we went ONE more time...ONCE again to have our last baby!Boy or Girl...we were going for our last baby.She is definately everything I could ask for.She is so sweet,always giving her sweet kisses.She goes out of her way to turn back to pick up a toy on the floor to get a smile out of me.She loves to touch my face.She sees Brianna,and just adores her to pieces,as well as Ashley.She calls Brianna Bri Bri..and Ashley..ASHHH.She is a JOY.We THANK YOU GOD for our girls,and thank YOU GOD for our last baby.I know I'm not having anymore,its saddening,yet another world ahead.More mommy night out with daddy & friends.:)I Passed up a LOT this past many years,to be with my children.I do NOT regret ONE single day.I love being a mother,it defines who I am,what GOD wanted me to do.
When the time comes,the crossroad,for me to do something "new",I know God will let me know.
Till next time...

Ahhhh 11pm,getme to bed NOW!

I feel compelled to sit here.ALL day.Haha..Cleaning,ALMOST DONE.laundry..Umm Must move clothes from washer to dryer.THAN toss in comforter(hope it doesn't get ruined ugh my HUSBAND fell asleep with ice cream and woke up with ICE CREAM all over himself,and I WOKE UP with NO comforter OYE)..well I mayjust buy a nice white comforter!I NEED to get to bed...WE NEED to buy a new mattress,heck a whole new bedroom set.This is one thing that drives me nuts!LOL

We cleaned out the pantry(LOVE how EMPTY it is now lol)!

Plans.
We need a night out with friends.I am heading to Florida.I want to visit for a month,and wondering how to pull this off with the conflict of childrens shooling...and of course Billys work.Problems Problems..always.Yet,Now I know,I'm not meant to have No more children.They are getting bigger.The baby,Lauren,is allready 2!Time to potty train her!She is such a joy,and will be PT fast.She is SUPER smart,rips off her dipes when she is wet/or whatever=) Imagine that!She knows,mommy time for panties now!No more diapers.I have to get over this obsession.:X I love organic Bamboo Velour,and its not going to happen.Its happened,but not for much longer.My baby is 2.Get over it,bottom line.I just want to get more Obv diapers,and than quit it...but why?LOL the obsession?
Anyways,I'm off to bed.Will make billy happy!Sitting here just blabbering is not a good thing.Life is too short,and should be spent with our loved ones.

I want to thank GOD for everything,and THANK my family and Friends for always being there.
SMOOCHES!