Just had Breakfast,and chat..cleaned

My life is ALL about cleaning,laundry,dishes,mopping,you name it I do it.I drive all over the town,I probably hit almost every nook & cranny of the house and town by now!
The kids have jijitsu,cheerleading,friends,playdates,etc.I am waiting on 3 books(more or less) from Amazon.In the meantime I have a book(forget the title,pandoras daughter,by I donno whom) lol...till my new book arrives!
I am going upstairs to make my bed,with my new egytian sheets(YUM) very pretty too,soft stripes,of light blue and white.I love them...esp on my cool mattress.I never thought lala land of sleeping would be so comf.I LOVE our bed!!!
I am thinking,of meeting my mom and some family members(my brothers God parents),but the problem is this,they Did NOT invite Billy.It was said first,why don't I come and just bring ASHLEY.Than it was said,After I said,i cannot jusst leve Briana & Lauren out too"ummm ok.So than Billy was not even Bought up.I do not want to go then.Screw that!
:(
Stuff like that...umm hurts.Just like for christmas,no we do not expect anything,but when "I" see that my mom buys EVERYTHING for stephs boyfriend of the month,here or there....and nothing for billy whose been my rock my whole life.It hurts ME.Maybe not so much Billy,even though HE notices it.He noticed from day number 1,when my mom told him he is not her son in law...my ex is.It may have been SO long ago,but he is hurt by it.It doesn't just go away,you can put a band aid on it..but once in a while it'll ooze out.
He was raised,where you can put the chips and dip,and redip,my father YELLED last christmas,made a big fuss about NO double dip.HUH?If it was anybody else,he would've said nothing.Again,I may be overreacting,billy may have done wrong,but there IN MY opinion,is a way to say something without making the person feel like crap:(
I tr to remember I'm loved...Lucky that I'm loved...but surely I miss my grandmother.
She is the one person that REALLY KNEW me..which I'll never forget!

I KEEP thinking,we SHOULD move,we really CANNOT afford to live here...yet we're here.
Its wierd.
Oh well,my vent of the day I suppose.I love my husband,everything he tries to do for us..puts his life on the line literally,and in return its like REJECTION over and over again.
That means REJECTION to me too..its wierd,but I feel rejected when he gets rejected.Does this make sense.SO NO I am NOT going to the lunch.I am sad,I get to miss out on fun...fun fun...
I WILL however,go to babies r Us with ileanna:) she may have her issues,but I KNOW what to expect out of her.I know her well.I DO like her(love her lots)...and she a fun person to know.
OYE..Laterz...praying for her sister(who has cancer)...what a new year.ALLREADY Nonsense on my plate.(SIGH)...