lifegoes on...

Im sitting back in the computer room which was once stephanies room.I should be in the kitchen talking to Bill but today I feel like getting sme thoughts out.Excuse the spelling between long nails and a broken,completely broken back space makes typing an effort whereas it is effortless for me.I type fast.
We are doing ok.We are adjusting (not) to the loss of my father n law.Billy is depressed and I'm tryng to get him to snap out of it.I have stress to the hilt here at home and than stress on the phone from florida to spain back to here.I feel clueless and lost on what exactly I am supposed to do??I said i'll take Avah however taking Avah has to be without constants how and what i must do.In seconds flat,i was told avah is 8 mos and must be inmy room??I had every single child in their rooms pretty fast!I can see an occasional come cuddle but they sleep better with a consistat schedule!Iam all for co sleeping.That is baby sleeping n bed wth us.Ok,I'm told this,that Avah s not to stay in Florida but com to NJ.Ok,fine...I call her other grandmother to verify and whatever but she has not said that to me or caled me back!Stephanie,needs to get her head together.She needs to go to rehab.Im scared thatthe hug n tears I gave her at the airport was my good bye forever.Something kept me from letting her go.I am scared out of my wits. i can't type no more,Billy is calling me.(SIGH).
I love ALL my kids.I am annoyed that Stephanie has to be so spoiled and she has NO clue how to get around this little world.Iknow its hard,noodooo its not easy!I struggle howevr,simple things like talking to a stranger,she is unable topick up the phone and talk about things..like wic,or dr's appoinments.I cant even hear half the time and just do my best winging it.The person on the other line could care less whats happening lloll no need to avoid calling the drs and such??O boy!!

Anyways...w are getting ROOF JEWEWLRY!!No not bragging till its DONE than I'll have braggging rghts when its UP on the roof.Solar Panels,I am psyched!!!