me and Ashley.:)
I love this pic of us>:)
She is such a cutie & a good girl.I am praying and hoping that she continues to be honest with me & feels comfy talking to me!
ANyways updates for me...WHILE lauren is at my arm again..hard to type LOL she is a pistol.I have a few minutes before we run to stephanie N shawns house(steph not my daughter,steph a friend) lol its her graduation party.I was not in the most festive mood,knowing we have a wake/funeral to attend this week.
This is our plan,so far,go to the wake and up north NJ on monday.
Yesterday lori came over,crying:( it was so sad..The loss of Danny is immense.I can't believe it and I just feel so awful for his wife.They've been together since she was THIRTEEN,and I KNOW that we're going to see people we haven't seen since wow,10 plus years.I grew up in Kearny and live in ocean county NJ..so its quite a move.I am gratefull to be gone from there,everybody (almost) lives at the bars and depressed I think:( HECK i get depressed and anxiety but now I'm worrying about other sorts of things.health,everything,this can happen to anybody at anytime.It hits me how Billy or the kids can be here one day and GONE the next.REALLY cherish our time together,I will not YELL,I will have more patience and enjoy doing everything that I DO for my girls.I miss my oldest and my mother.:( but I can't make their choices for them.They chose to do what they do.
I'm hurt by alot of their actions,not Stephanie but more so by my mothers.I love her,and dont' want to hurt her so I don't bother saying anything.Why bother?
I just know now what NOT to do..I know my brother is feeling the same hurts I am feelling.Its prett bummy.:(
At least he has my father.I'm going to see a psych,because I know that the root of it all is that my dad had lack of love for me...and I was a pampered lil girl,mostly by my grandmother:*) I misss her terribly.
I'm so behind in my mails!I have SO much to vent,I need a private diary LOL
well,billy is out biking with Brianna and than we're heading to see Stephanie & Shawn tha pick up Ashley from Lauras house(she is with Courtney).Are they best of friends again?LOL Its silly 12yr old stuff but wow some can be serious!I take all her problems serious.
Laterzzzzzzzzzz
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