HEARTBREAKS

I'm sitting here,Today is Stephanies 18th Birthday.Its almost 4pm and I have NOT heard from her yet.To top it off,I'm also hurt by yesterday which I'm soooo getting over it @@...sounds childish but if it hurt my feelings it must be somewhat legit cause i'm entitled to my feelings right??Hmmmm Anyways,my parents came back yesterday and it was nice to see them,I think of how when it was JUST us.My mom NEVER cared for me he way she does my own daughter.I feel its like,I'm hard of hearing so I wasn't the PERFECT daughter she wanted so whalla stephanie was born and she got the perfect little girl.I wonder about that now,Hmm a passing though.My dad,he however breaks my heart little by little day by day.More so than anybody in the world.I was always wanting to be daddies little girl.I see my husband with my daughters,and think WOW is that how "DADDIES" are.My faher is pai,and looks ahead stern and mad smetimes...Oh well!Life is what it IS.Cannot change people..I have to accept i am loved by those who DO love me,and NOT by those who don't love me.I have a feeling I'm expected to be this perfect person and my faults,human faults are rejected with a passion.It hurts when I see my dad and brother SOOOO close,and my brother i adore with all my heart,I do not place an IOTA of blame on him.YET I SEE them talking and being friends,and my heart strings are just flying around empty and ignored.
My MOM,lives 80% for steph,and the rest is us,a lil doggie bone LOL but i DO feel my mom loves me.Thankgod,I am so gratefull for Bily.I just wish he wouldn't be such a grump at times,:( and be more into going out with us..I feel lost.
WELL .my blurb...yes My daughter is EIGHTEEN TOdAY!
Oh my gosh.:X TODAY we're heading over my moms for cake!:)